They say, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Similarly, you don’t have to take on your goals alone. When you surround yourself with optimistic people who actively support your goals and the steps you take to accomplish them, you will become more optimistic as well.

Here are some ways you can surround yourself for success:

• Find an accountability partner to help you stay on track and who you can help as
  well. Helping someone else accomplish their goals will make their support of yours more valid.
• Join a support group related to your goal. Seeing others going through the same process can give you encouragement or ideas to make your journey faster and easier.
• Publicize your progress. The more you share, the more confident you will feel about your journey.
• You don’t have to just surround yourself with people. Add plants to your home décor, find a meditation app to help you unwind and refocus, get a motivational poster to put in your office, etc.

Creating a positive atmosphere around you regarding your goals will greatly benefit your Social, Emotional, Spiritual, and Occupational wellbeing.

Keep in mind that surrounding yourself for success also means removing people around you that could potentially cause you to fail.

Although it can be difficult, limit the time you spend with or around them, especially on social media. For people who you must interact with daily such as family or coworkers, take the time to talk to them about how their opinions of your goals affect you personally. Get a neutral party involved if you feel uncomfortable discussing the issue openly. If you feel the person is forcing his or her negativity onto you despite your efforts, it may be time to cut ties as completely as possible, at least until you’ve accomplished your goals.

Remember, there’s a difference between constructive criticism and outright negativity. Cut out the negativity and embrace the critique and you will accomplish your goals faster and easier than you thought possible.

References:

Top 10 Strategies for Making Your New Year’s Resolution Stick

A Note on New Year’s Resolutions, Akrasia, and Accountability

Resources:

And Then We Saved

5 Apps to Help You Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions

Surround Yourself with the Right People

You’ve set your new year goals, but you can’t really say you’re excited about all of them. You’re going to have to eat healthier and exercise more to lose weight, but you like eating out and sleeping in. The more you think about your goals and the steps you need to take to get there, the less enthusiastic you feel.

It’s time to be honest – you can’t force passion, and if your goals don’t reflect things you can be passionate about, you’re not going to stick with them. In the same way, just because you’re passionate about your goal doesn’t mean you can be passionate about the steps to get there.

That doesn’t mean you have to quit. If your goals or steps don’t light that fire in you, here are some tips to trick yourself into being more passionate.

• Have Resolve, Not Resolutions – Making resolutions does not equate to having the resolve to follow through on them. Change your mindset. Focus on having resolve about the things you do, not on the goals you’ve set. You might just find a new passion.
• Rephrase Your Goals – Sometimes changing your perception of the goals you have can help you recognize why you chose them in the first place. Write down your goal in as many ways as you can. Find a way to phrase it so you can recognize the passion you have for it.
• Know Your Why – Your goal may be to lose weight, but your passion may be to keep up with your kids during playtime. Put your why at the forefront of your mind to ignite that passion. And if your why isn’t enough to get your blood pumping then move on to a more important goal.
• Set Intentional Goals – Your goals don’t have to be world-changing. Set at least one goal that is intentionally, perfectly aligned with your existing passions. Love going to the movies? Set a goal to see at least one new movie a week for the year. Use that goal to reward or motivate you.
• Be Honest with Yourself – Again, don’t force passion. There’s nothing wrong with recognizing that you aren’t passionate about the goals you think you should be trying to accomplish. Accept when you don’t have passion for your goal and move on so you can accomplish more on the goals you are or can be passionate about.

References:

The “Passion Pivot”: How To Kick Off 2018 With A Resolution That Sticks

Don’t Bother with Resolutions This New Year

Done With New Year Resolutions? Seven Steps to Stay Motivated For the Long Haul

Resources:

Start with Why

Unconventional Life Show: The “Passion Pivot”

Gary Vee: Go All In On Your Strengths

Creating and maintaining good habits is foundational to achieving our new year goals. We also need to consider those bad habits that may slow us down and the negative feelings they create that can distract us from our progress.

Dealing with bad habits can be challenging, and the act of trying to change them can be daunting. By approaching bad habits in a different way, you can improve your Spiritual, Emotional, and Intellectual wellbeing. Here are a few ways to look at bad habits differently.

See bad habits as good opportunities.

You may find there is a bad habit that is standing in the way of you achieving your goals. Don’t get discouraged. Instead, take a different perspective. Is there a way you can change how you perceive or perform that habit to make it a more positive influence on your life? Can you break that habit down into manageable steps and make it into a good habit with little effort? Find a new angle to approach your bad habits and make them into opportunities.

Be kinder to yourself.

Habits are hard to establish and even harder to break. Don’t let your bad habits keep you from acknowledging the accomplishments you make toward your goals. Think positively. Compliment yourself often. Don’t just treat others as you want to be treated; treat yourself the way you treat others, too. When you find you’ve given into a bad habit, accept it however you can. Brush it off. Have a good cry. And tell yourself you’ll do better next time, even if you don’t. You’re only human.

Talk to your inner-critic. 

Quitting a bad habit can sometimes feel like you’re fighting yourself. And recent research suggests that’s exactly what we’re doing – fighting with the voices in your head who think they know what’s best for you. It may sound strange, but sometimes you just have to sit those know-it-alls down and have a conversation. What do they want for you? Why do they put you down when you don’t do things their way? And how can you come together to achieve what you really want? Try to compromise with that part of yourself, so you can spend more time accomplishing your goals and less time fighting yourself.

References:

This Is How to Quit Bad Habits Without Willpower: 3 Secrets From Neuroscience

The Only Resolution You Need – Be Nice to Yourself

Can’t Keep Your New Year Resolutions? Try Being Kind to Yourself

Resources:

Inside Out

Random Acts of Kindness Foundation

Health Benefits of Being Kind to Yourself

A habit is simply an action that you repeat regularly and naturally. You already live with many habits you perform every day. Some habits are good, like brushing our teeth after each meal. Others can be harmful, eating ice cream every night before bed. Many habits are developed unintentionally, which is fine. But how do you intentionally create good habits?

You can start with identifying your keystone habits – positive habits that are already part of your life and that positively influence other aspects of your life. Keystone habits can include:

• Waking up early
• Keeping a positive attitude at work
• Eating three meals a day

Once you know your keystone habits, find ways to expand on them. Chain your existing habits to new steps you want to take toward your ultimate goal.

For instance, say your goal is to improve your people skills at work. Your existing keystone habit is waking up early every day. A new habit could be to read more about socialization at work.

Break that new habit into its own steps to make it easier to achieve. You should repeat each step every day for at least 21 days to help solidify it as a habit. In our example, you could break down this new habit into simpler steps:

1. Wake up 20 minutes earlier for 21 days.
2. Use that extra 20 minutes to read every morning for 21 days.
3. Focus on reading a full chapter every morning for 21 days.

The key here is to be self-aware of your limits and choose habits and steps to those habits that complement who you are now. Once the habit is formed, it will naturally help you change as a person, making the next habit easier to implement into your lifestyle.

References:

What the Research on Habit Formation Reveals About Willpower and Overall Wellbeing

Making New Resolutions Work for You

What is a Keystone Habit

Resources:

Why Resolutions Don’t Work – How to Create Lasting Change

The 7 Habits that Books and Reading Help You Build

3 Daily Habits of Geniuses That Can Make You Smarter